digivolvin:

last night i dreamed that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and i was so insulted i woke up

gaydicks420:

last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.

"

What if
all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter

What if
women were the ones who started wars

What if
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly

What if
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun

What if
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs

What if
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis

What if
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands

What if
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes

What if
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons

What if
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
with socks
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
or
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
or
“The truth about impotence”

What if
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”

What if
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job

What if
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running

And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.

"

For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, written 20 years ago by Carol Diehl. 

She wrote a post about the history of this poem that is worth reading.

(via archangvl)

iwantasuperwholockurl:

theblackcatstirs:

shiningartifact:

ziusik:

thinly:


-Sir, we’ve found this and we needed you to name it.
-Pineapple.
-But we figured we might as well just call it “Ananas” since the majority of the world refers to it as-
-Pineapple.
-But sir-
-Pine. Apple.

CRYING I HAVE TO REBLOG IM SORRY OMFG

PINE. APPLE.

LOL THIS IS THE GREATEST.

If this doesn’t perfectly sum up the English language I don’t know what does

malay: nanas

iwantasuperwholockurl:

theblackcatstirs:

shiningartifact:

ziusik:

thinly:

-Sir, we’ve found this and we needed you to name it.

-Pineapple.

-But we figured we might as well just call it “Ananas” since the majority of the world refers to it as-

-Pineapple.

-But sir-

-Pine. Apple.

CRYING I HAVE TO REBLOG IM SORRY OMFG

PINE. APPLE.

LOL THIS IS THE GREATEST.

If this doesn’t perfectly sum up the English language I don’t know what does

malay: nanas

  • me typing in 2009: Hi there! This is a fun email thingy. What r u doing?????? Wow typing is really hard lol.
  • me typing in 2010: Hay guise! It's meh wtf lmao! I don't have ADHD i just IS THAT A PANCAKE TACO TURTLE LOL :3 xD
  • me typing in 2011: Oh my god, are you all illiterate? What do you think this is, 2006? Grow up, you lot of nine-year-olds. Nobody wants to have the Internet tainted with your scum.
  • me typing in 2012: lol whats happening hoo Dis
  • me typing in 2013: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • me typing in 2014: hella